Oh and have a good and prosperous 2009. Hope all of you have a nice evening tonight.
..i am staying home and watching New Year Eve´s TV-programme :) I have been sick since Sunday and i cant really do anything (Estonian cold clima, painful throat, coughing, cold in my nose etc etc) ... I always find good time to get sick!
So now its like im really sick- my heart is broken, my health is gone and i have no money but my ex-landlord still looking something from me. Ha. I´ll go back to Ireland next year and sort all this shit out. Oh yees i have lots of shit to sort out. But anyway, no complains at all. Some songs are saying ”Life is Bitch and then you Die” and some songs are saying ”World is Yours...” but Mark Twain is saying: ”Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.”
HUGS AND KISSES! MAKE LOVE NOT WAR!
Wednesday 31 December 2008
...tarot...
I have found my new hobbie. Now im reading tarot cards. I really feel good connection with my cards and i feel like they really open up to me and tell me a lot. Or maybe i just know people really well. Anyway more i practice better i will be.
I really really enjoy reading tarot cards and i really beleive what they tell me.
My brother thinks im crazy and wierd.
PS. If someone is intrested about my readings then please feel free to contact me on my e-mail. Im very good at it :)
Friday 26 December 2008
Broken...
I have so many feelings hidden in my soul, i feel like i have lost the way how to express this. I wish i could know how to understand things and i wish i could analyze more. I have been researching some stuff about relationships from internet and looking for answers and looking for help.
Yes, my heart is broken. Yes, i am sad and yes, i feel like i want to cry. Im trying to let these bad feelings out and cry out all disappointment and pain. No, im not physically crying but my heart is heavy and my feelings are going up and down. Im not trying to control this anymore.
Im in Estonia. All my friends are here. I am dragging myself to go out and im dragging myself to do something. Soon i will be back at work in routine.
Im sick bird now and i have lost again. Now its time to move on and the best i can do is learn from my mistakes and forgive.
Yes, i am frogiving and i am letting the pain out. I am thinking about You every minute and missing You.
Sometimes i dont even want to get out from the bed in the mornings.
Sooo fucking hard.
Its my personal life. These are feelings im feeling and these are the thoughts im thinking.
I learnt a lot. I take all this on board and trying to get my heart back to one piece again.
Yes, my heart is broken. Yes, i am sad and yes, i feel like i want to cry. Im trying to let these bad feelings out and cry out all disappointment and pain. No, im not physically crying but my heart is heavy and my feelings are going up and down. Im not trying to control this anymore.
Im in Estonia. All my friends are here. I am dragging myself to go out and im dragging myself to do something. Soon i will be back at work in routine.
Im sick bird now and i have lost again. Now its time to move on and the best i can do is learn from my mistakes and forgive.
Yes, i am frogiving and i am letting the pain out. I am thinking about You every minute and missing You.
Sometimes i dont even want to get out from the bed in the mornings.
Sooo fucking hard.
Its my personal life. These are feelings im feeling and these are the thoughts im thinking.
I learnt a lot. I take all this on board and trying to get my heart back to one piece again.
What brings 2009?
Respect for Igor Mang- Estonian Astrologer:
Rotiaasta on lõppemas. Uueks valitsejaks on tulemas kollane maapühvel. Hetk, mil ta troonile asub, on 26. jaanuar kell 9.55. Valitsusaega, mis talle seadusega antud, jätkub 14. veebruarini 2010.
Lahkuv aasta oli põhiiseloomult öine, kuid pühvliaasta kujutab endast hommikut. Uue päeva algus sõltub mitte ainult eelmise päeva tegemistest, vaid ka möödunud ööst: košmaarne unenägu võib inimest päeva suhtes ettevaatlikuks muuta, ta võtab seda kui hoiatust.
Tõesti, läinud aasta tõi endaga üsnagi ehmatavaid sündmusi riikidevahelistes suhetes, nii välispoliitikas kui majanduselus: madalam majanduskasv, pankade kriis ja isegi eduka väikeriigi Islandi pankrotistumine, sinna juurde veel ootamatu sõda Gruusias.
Minu prognoos 2008. aasta kohta, kus nentisin, et aasta teine pool tuleb raskem ja kogu maailm peab heaoluühiskonna ehitamise asemel püksirihma koomale tõmbama, osutus kahjuks õigeks.
Kapitalism on kokku varisemasPühvliaasta peateema on ideoloogia, mis lähtub uuest maailmavaatest ning eluväärtuste süsteemist. Kõigil mõtlevatel inimestel üle maailma on selge, et liberaalse turumajanduse idee on ennast ammendanud, sellel edasi ratsutamine viib veelgi sügavamasse kriisi. Milton Friedman on majanduspjedestaalilt alla tõugatud!
Liberaalsed reformaatorid, kelle põhiidee oli "Võimalikult vähe riiki ja suurim vabadus ettevõtlusele", on läbi kukkunud. Just seal, kus oli tugev riik, tuldi pankade kriisiga paremini toime. Päästis riik kui turvalisuse süsteem.
Maia kalendri järgi pidavat maailma lõpp saabuma 21.12.2012. 1993. aastal Eesti Ekspressile antud intervjuus ütlesin, et pärast sotsialismi variseb kokku ka kapitalism. Maailma lõpp polegi midagi muud kui kapitalistliku süsteemi kokkukukkumine. Terroriakt 2001. aasta 11. septembril oli minu jaoks väga sümboolne. Purustati kaks torni, millest üks kujutas sotsialismi ja teine kapitalismi. Need on kaks venda, kelle papa on kuldvasika kummardaja Materialism ja mamma suur hoor Võltsdemokraatia.
Nende pojad on kauni loodusega maakerast teinud Stalkeri maastiku: kuivendanud sood, sundinud jõed tagurpidi voolama, reostanud veed, saastanud õhu, laastanud metsad, sõitnud tankide ja traktoritega läbi veekogude, katsetanud maapõues ja vee all tuumapomme, valanud maastiku üle asfaldi ja betooniga.
Jõhkrad tüübid on tõstetud eeskujuks (uued stahhaanovlased!). Pidevalt on täiustatud relvastust, et läbi viia massimõrvu, mis nüüdseks on jõudnud koolidesse ja kodudessegi.
Need kaks venda - sotsialism ja kapitalism - on kurjategijad, kes on üles ehitanud globaalse süsteemi otsekui Paabeli torni, mis on Jumala silmis jõle. See globaalne Paabeli torn nüüd kokku varisemas ongi.
Kapitalismi kokkuvarisemine üheaegselt kliima soojenemisega toob kaasa kaose, mille tagajärg on nälg. Näljast inimest ei juhi enam euroseadused, vaid toores instinkt, mis käsib ellu jääda. Süüakse kõike, mida kätte saadakse.
Läänemaailm pole enam ammu kristlik maailm. Seda islam Läänele ette heidabki.
Praegune sõda islamimaailmaga ei ole ristisõda nagu 1000 aastat tagasi, kui Lääs võitles Issanda haua vabastamise eest. Nüüd sõdib ta tooraine pärast ja selleks peab kasutama palgaarmeed. Puudub usuline entusiasm.
Hommikust õhtuni kõlab raadios ja TVs: "Osta, osta! Raha, raha! Kõik müügiks!" Kõik päevad on juba hullud päevad. Kas see pole märk viimsetest aegadest?
Sellele on nüüd tulemas lõpp. Paabeli torn juba kõigub ja maa väriseb. Saabumas on orkaan nimega Gustav II. Maakera telg on nihkunud ja vihmasajud lakkamatud, sest Emake Maa nutab hukkaläinud inimsoo pärast.
Kümme käsku tõusevad ausseTehkem silmad lahti ja vaadakem, mis toimub. Kas see pole juba apokalüpsis, mille eest prohvetid hoiatasid? Loomi ja inimesi kloonitakse, rakke muundatakse. Intellektuaalsed maniakid püüavad Jumala loomingut tehiskeskkonnaga asendada, sest nad arvavad suurushullustuses end Jumalast paremini luua oskavat. See on otsene sekkumine elu pühamusse ja tema saladustesse. Pühakirja eiratakse, seades ülimuslikuks oma partei või grupi huvid.
See ongi košmaarne unenägu, mille lõppu ootab iga tõeliselt Jumalat armastav ja tema loomingut austav hing.
Tuleb tagasi tulla pühakirja juurde. Maailma parlamendid ja meie Riigikogu ei pea seadusi välja mõtlema, vaid neid lihtsalt täitma ning nõudma ka rahvalt kümne käsu täitmist. Selles on kogu inimeseks olemise ja elamise seadus: armastada oma Jumalat üle kõige ja ligimest nagu iseennast. Ainult need kogudused, inimrühmad ja ökokülad, kus elukorraldus on määratud nende kahe esimese käsuga, jäävad elama ka pärast Paabeli torni kokkuvarisemist.
Siit kasvabki välja pühvliaasta ideoloogia sisu, mis on unustatud vana, aga õige.
Kommunistlik kord oli nii tume (religiooni ja müstika vastane), et hävitas vaimse eliidi, kiirendades nõnda tahtmatult oma süsteemi kokkuvarisemist. Kapitalism vaimset eliiti füüsiliselt ei hävita, aga ta marginaliseerib nad ära. Nii ta teeb ka kirikuga: teie koht on nurgas, rahuldage seal oma usulisi vajadusi! Suurkapitalistid see-eest teevad äri- ja eluseadusi.
Ühiskonna tugevus sõltub tema mitmekesisusest. Terves ühiskonnas on esiplaanil vaimuinimesed, mitte poliitika- või showmaailma vägevad. Ühiskonna vaimne eliit on nagu punased verelibled, mis võitlevad organismi terveksjäämise eest. Pätid, kurjategijad ja silmakirjatsejad kujutavad endast haigestunud rakke, mis viivad nii inimese kui kogu ühiskonna enneaegselt hauda.
Britannias ja Rootsis on vaimset eliiti rohkem, ilmselt ka Aasias või vähemasti Jaapanis, sest seal on monarhia säilinud, kuigi tänapäeva kuningate kroonid enam ei hiilga, sest pole tõelist imperaatorit. Alles on vaid tema vari, kes liigub mööda Euroopat ja nõuab mässajatele kättemaksu.
Õnneks on alles paavstitool ja auväärsed müstilised ordud.
Nüüd algavatel rasketel aegadel, mil ateistlik tsivilisatsioon kokku variseb, on läänemaailma ainus tee koonduda paavsti kui sakraalse printsiibi kandja ümber. Paavsti igavene ülesanne on tagada, et vabadus, müstikud ja pühakud maailmast ei kaoks. Tõsi, kõik paavstid pole selle eest hea seisnud.
Maailm vajab uut kevadetJuba ammu on räägitud keskaja renessansist. Tõesti, see saabub. Selles veendumiseks tasus vaid vaadata telesaadet "Selgeltnägijate tuleproov", kus žüriis olid auväärt akadeemik ja parlamendiliikmed. Jääb üle ennustada, millistes Riigikogu fraktsioonides võimekamad nõiad nüüd konsultandina tööle hakkavad! Miks ka mitte, maailmas on seda varemgi juhtunud.
Tulevasi aegu on lihtsam üle elada loodusrahvastel, olgu nendeks indiaanlased või Austraalia aborigeenid. Valge mehe tarkus enam ei aita.
Legendaarsete vendade Urbide kinnitust mööda olid hopi indiaanlaste targad läinud aastal öelnud, et tuuled maailma muutmiseks on lahti lastud.
Tuleb taastada omanäoline elulaad, sest selles me oleme igavikulised. Oleme maa ja metsa rahvas, maalähedased pühvlikarjused, arhailised nagu baskid ja indiaanlased. Sellistel peab olema ka oma kuningas. Selline on minu sõnum olnud juba kakskümmend aastat. Nüüd on see ainus, mis meid aitaks.
Mida aga saab soovida kõikidele rahvastele? Austada oma isa ja ema, nii taevaseid kui maiseid, sest see tagab rahvale pika eluea.
Maailm vajab uut kevadet, nagu oli Euroopas renessansiajal või Goethe ja Schilleri ajal Weimaris. Peab sündima uus teaduse ja religiooni süntees.
Eesti ei vaja tuumajaama, see võrduks rahvusliku enesetapuga. Eesti vajab eelkõige poeete ja Platoni tasemel filosoofe, kes räägiksid lootuse ja elurõõmu tagasitulekust ühiskonda.
Poeedid on inimkonna vaimsed aristokraadid, nende rohkus ühiskonnas tähendab alati kevadet, ärkamisaega. Ei ole võimalik omada õilsat südant, kui seal puudub poeesia.
Planeedid moodustavad praegu peaaegu samasuguseid aspekte nagu 1929. aastal ja 1930. aastate alguses, kui Ameerikas toimus börsikrahh, mis halvas majanduse ka Euroopas.
Kuna Pluuto liikus 2008. aastal Kaljukitse märki, siis seda aastat saabki pidada kriisi algusajaks.
1930. aastail oli maailma olukord parem - kapitalism polnud veel globaalne ja tarvitamata oli üsna ohtralt ainelisi ressursse. Praegune olukord seevastu pole enam kriis, vaid juba katastroof, sest tegu on terve globaalsüsteemi kokkuvarisemisega.
Raske aeg kestab kuni 2023. aastani. Sel ajal liigub Pluuto Kaljukitses, mis valitseb süsteemide ja struktuuride üle, olgu see finants- või riigisüsteem. Pluuto hävitab selleks, et luua uut.
Alles 2023. aasta kevadel jõuab Pluuto Veevalajasse, mis on lootusrikas sõpruskondade märk. See aga ei tähenda, et siis kohe saabuks inimkonnale õnnelik aeg, mille all tavainimene ehk mõistaks kaupu täis kaubamaja... Selles mõttes kindlasti mitte.
2023. aastal on maailm ateistlik-demokraatlikest illusioonidest vabanenud. Kadunud on jutud inimõigustest, elatakse reaalsusega silmitsi. Elulaad muutub arhailisemaks ja seadused karmimaks, kusjuures seadusi saab olema palju vähem - ainult kümme käsku!
Surmanuhtlust kasutatakse sagedamini, sest ükski ühiskond ei hakka sellises olukorras ülal pidama parasiite ja kurjategijaid. Kõik hakkab rohkem meenutama keskaega kui tänapäeva. Ilmselt on inimesigi selleks ajaks maailmas vähem. Vabadusetunnet saab aga olema palju rohkem.
Head uut aastat ja jumalarahu soovides
Chev. IGOR MANG, astroloog
Lahkuv aasta oli põhiiseloomult öine, kuid pühvliaasta kujutab endast hommikut. Uue päeva algus sõltub mitte ainult eelmise päeva tegemistest, vaid ka möödunud ööst: košmaarne unenägu võib inimest päeva suhtes ettevaatlikuks muuta, ta võtab seda kui hoiatust.
Tõesti, läinud aasta tõi endaga üsnagi ehmatavaid sündmusi riikidevahelistes suhetes, nii välispoliitikas kui majanduselus: madalam majanduskasv, pankade kriis ja isegi eduka väikeriigi Islandi pankrotistumine, sinna juurde veel ootamatu sõda Gruusias.
Minu prognoos 2008. aasta kohta, kus nentisin, et aasta teine pool tuleb raskem ja kogu maailm peab heaoluühiskonna ehitamise asemel püksirihma koomale tõmbama, osutus kahjuks õigeks.
Kapitalism on kokku varisemasPühvliaasta peateema on ideoloogia, mis lähtub uuest maailmavaatest ning eluväärtuste süsteemist. Kõigil mõtlevatel inimestel üle maailma on selge, et liberaalse turumajanduse idee on ennast ammendanud, sellel edasi ratsutamine viib veelgi sügavamasse kriisi. Milton Friedman on majanduspjedestaalilt alla tõugatud!
Liberaalsed reformaatorid, kelle põhiidee oli "Võimalikult vähe riiki ja suurim vabadus ettevõtlusele", on läbi kukkunud. Just seal, kus oli tugev riik, tuldi pankade kriisiga paremini toime. Päästis riik kui turvalisuse süsteem.
Maia kalendri järgi pidavat maailma lõpp saabuma 21.12.2012. 1993. aastal Eesti Ekspressile antud intervjuus ütlesin, et pärast sotsialismi variseb kokku ka kapitalism. Maailma lõpp polegi midagi muud kui kapitalistliku süsteemi kokkukukkumine. Terroriakt 2001. aasta 11. septembril oli minu jaoks väga sümboolne. Purustati kaks torni, millest üks kujutas sotsialismi ja teine kapitalismi. Need on kaks venda, kelle papa on kuldvasika kummardaja Materialism ja mamma suur hoor Võltsdemokraatia.
Nende pojad on kauni loodusega maakerast teinud Stalkeri maastiku: kuivendanud sood, sundinud jõed tagurpidi voolama, reostanud veed, saastanud õhu, laastanud metsad, sõitnud tankide ja traktoritega läbi veekogude, katsetanud maapõues ja vee all tuumapomme, valanud maastiku üle asfaldi ja betooniga.
Jõhkrad tüübid on tõstetud eeskujuks (uued stahhaanovlased!). Pidevalt on täiustatud relvastust, et läbi viia massimõrvu, mis nüüdseks on jõudnud koolidesse ja kodudessegi.
Need kaks venda - sotsialism ja kapitalism - on kurjategijad, kes on üles ehitanud globaalse süsteemi otsekui Paabeli torni, mis on Jumala silmis jõle. See globaalne Paabeli torn nüüd kokku varisemas ongi.
Kapitalismi kokkuvarisemine üheaegselt kliima soojenemisega toob kaasa kaose, mille tagajärg on nälg. Näljast inimest ei juhi enam euroseadused, vaid toores instinkt, mis käsib ellu jääda. Süüakse kõike, mida kätte saadakse.
Läänemaailm pole enam ammu kristlik maailm. Seda islam Läänele ette heidabki.
Praegune sõda islamimaailmaga ei ole ristisõda nagu 1000 aastat tagasi, kui Lääs võitles Issanda haua vabastamise eest. Nüüd sõdib ta tooraine pärast ja selleks peab kasutama palgaarmeed. Puudub usuline entusiasm.
Hommikust õhtuni kõlab raadios ja TVs: "Osta, osta! Raha, raha! Kõik müügiks!" Kõik päevad on juba hullud päevad. Kas see pole märk viimsetest aegadest?
Sellele on nüüd tulemas lõpp. Paabeli torn juba kõigub ja maa väriseb. Saabumas on orkaan nimega Gustav II. Maakera telg on nihkunud ja vihmasajud lakkamatud, sest Emake Maa nutab hukkaläinud inimsoo pärast.
Kümme käsku tõusevad ausseTehkem silmad lahti ja vaadakem, mis toimub. Kas see pole juba apokalüpsis, mille eest prohvetid hoiatasid? Loomi ja inimesi kloonitakse, rakke muundatakse. Intellektuaalsed maniakid püüavad Jumala loomingut tehiskeskkonnaga asendada, sest nad arvavad suurushullustuses end Jumalast paremini luua oskavat. See on otsene sekkumine elu pühamusse ja tema saladustesse. Pühakirja eiratakse, seades ülimuslikuks oma partei või grupi huvid.
See ongi košmaarne unenägu, mille lõppu ootab iga tõeliselt Jumalat armastav ja tema loomingut austav hing.
Tuleb tagasi tulla pühakirja juurde. Maailma parlamendid ja meie Riigikogu ei pea seadusi välja mõtlema, vaid neid lihtsalt täitma ning nõudma ka rahvalt kümne käsu täitmist. Selles on kogu inimeseks olemise ja elamise seadus: armastada oma Jumalat üle kõige ja ligimest nagu iseennast. Ainult need kogudused, inimrühmad ja ökokülad, kus elukorraldus on määratud nende kahe esimese käsuga, jäävad elama ka pärast Paabeli torni kokkuvarisemist.
Siit kasvabki välja pühvliaasta ideoloogia sisu, mis on unustatud vana, aga õige.
Kommunistlik kord oli nii tume (religiooni ja müstika vastane), et hävitas vaimse eliidi, kiirendades nõnda tahtmatult oma süsteemi kokkuvarisemist. Kapitalism vaimset eliiti füüsiliselt ei hävita, aga ta marginaliseerib nad ära. Nii ta teeb ka kirikuga: teie koht on nurgas, rahuldage seal oma usulisi vajadusi! Suurkapitalistid see-eest teevad äri- ja eluseadusi.
Ühiskonna tugevus sõltub tema mitmekesisusest. Terves ühiskonnas on esiplaanil vaimuinimesed, mitte poliitika- või showmaailma vägevad. Ühiskonna vaimne eliit on nagu punased verelibled, mis võitlevad organismi terveksjäämise eest. Pätid, kurjategijad ja silmakirjatsejad kujutavad endast haigestunud rakke, mis viivad nii inimese kui kogu ühiskonna enneaegselt hauda.
Britannias ja Rootsis on vaimset eliiti rohkem, ilmselt ka Aasias või vähemasti Jaapanis, sest seal on monarhia säilinud, kuigi tänapäeva kuningate kroonid enam ei hiilga, sest pole tõelist imperaatorit. Alles on vaid tema vari, kes liigub mööda Euroopat ja nõuab mässajatele kättemaksu.
Õnneks on alles paavstitool ja auväärsed müstilised ordud.
Nüüd algavatel rasketel aegadel, mil ateistlik tsivilisatsioon kokku variseb, on läänemaailma ainus tee koonduda paavsti kui sakraalse printsiibi kandja ümber. Paavsti igavene ülesanne on tagada, et vabadus, müstikud ja pühakud maailmast ei kaoks. Tõsi, kõik paavstid pole selle eest hea seisnud.
Maailm vajab uut kevadetJuba ammu on räägitud keskaja renessansist. Tõesti, see saabub. Selles veendumiseks tasus vaid vaadata telesaadet "Selgeltnägijate tuleproov", kus žüriis olid auväärt akadeemik ja parlamendiliikmed. Jääb üle ennustada, millistes Riigikogu fraktsioonides võimekamad nõiad nüüd konsultandina tööle hakkavad! Miks ka mitte, maailmas on seda varemgi juhtunud.
Tulevasi aegu on lihtsam üle elada loodusrahvastel, olgu nendeks indiaanlased või Austraalia aborigeenid. Valge mehe tarkus enam ei aita.
Legendaarsete vendade Urbide kinnitust mööda olid hopi indiaanlaste targad läinud aastal öelnud, et tuuled maailma muutmiseks on lahti lastud.
Tuleb taastada omanäoline elulaad, sest selles me oleme igavikulised. Oleme maa ja metsa rahvas, maalähedased pühvlikarjused, arhailised nagu baskid ja indiaanlased. Sellistel peab olema ka oma kuningas. Selline on minu sõnum olnud juba kakskümmend aastat. Nüüd on see ainus, mis meid aitaks.
Mida aga saab soovida kõikidele rahvastele? Austada oma isa ja ema, nii taevaseid kui maiseid, sest see tagab rahvale pika eluea.
Maailm vajab uut kevadet, nagu oli Euroopas renessansiajal või Goethe ja Schilleri ajal Weimaris. Peab sündima uus teaduse ja religiooni süntees.
Eesti ei vaja tuumajaama, see võrduks rahvusliku enesetapuga. Eesti vajab eelkõige poeete ja Platoni tasemel filosoofe, kes räägiksid lootuse ja elurõõmu tagasitulekust ühiskonda.
Poeedid on inimkonna vaimsed aristokraadid, nende rohkus ühiskonnas tähendab alati kevadet, ärkamisaega. Ei ole võimalik omada õilsat südant, kui seal puudub poeesia.
Planeedid moodustavad praegu peaaegu samasuguseid aspekte nagu 1929. aastal ja 1930. aastate alguses, kui Ameerikas toimus börsikrahh, mis halvas majanduse ka Euroopas.
Kuna Pluuto liikus 2008. aastal Kaljukitse märki, siis seda aastat saabki pidada kriisi algusajaks.
1930. aastail oli maailma olukord parem - kapitalism polnud veel globaalne ja tarvitamata oli üsna ohtralt ainelisi ressursse. Praegune olukord seevastu pole enam kriis, vaid juba katastroof, sest tegu on terve globaalsüsteemi kokkuvarisemisega.
Raske aeg kestab kuni 2023. aastani. Sel ajal liigub Pluuto Kaljukitses, mis valitseb süsteemide ja struktuuride üle, olgu see finants- või riigisüsteem. Pluuto hävitab selleks, et luua uut.
Alles 2023. aasta kevadel jõuab Pluuto Veevalajasse, mis on lootusrikas sõpruskondade märk. See aga ei tähenda, et siis kohe saabuks inimkonnale õnnelik aeg, mille all tavainimene ehk mõistaks kaupu täis kaubamaja... Selles mõttes kindlasti mitte.
2023. aastal on maailm ateistlik-demokraatlikest illusioonidest vabanenud. Kadunud on jutud inimõigustest, elatakse reaalsusega silmitsi. Elulaad muutub arhailisemaks ja seadused karmimaks, kusjuures seadusi saab olema palju vähem - ainult kümme käsku!
Surmanuhtlust kasutatakse sagedamini, sest ükski ühiskond ei hakka sellises olukorras ülal pidama parasiite ja kurjategijaid. Kõik hakkab rohkem meenutama keskaega kui tänapäeva. Ilmselt on inimesigi selleks ajaks maailmas vähem. Vabadusetunnet saab aga olema palju rohkem.
Head uut aastat ja jumalarahu soovides
Chev. IGOR MANG, astroloog
I had a syrrealistic night tonight. Nobody cant really see or feel my feeligns about it.
Just had a Kabanoss (for food) and got to go to sleep now.
Happy Xmas, happy holidays bla blabla and all that shit.
Speak tomorrow when i can feel more... hopefully.
Im not able to write when i am talking to someone at the same time.
Thanks. Nite Nite.
XXxxX
Just had a Kabanoss (for food) and got to go to sleep now.
Happy Xmas, happy holidays bla blabla and all that shit.
Speak tomorrow when i can feel more... hopefully.
Im not able to write when i am talking to someone at the same time.
Thanks. Nite Nite.
XXxxX
Saturday 20 December 2008
Questions, Questions, Questions
Do you beleive in Love? What is Love and how do you know you Love? Can Love hurt? Or should it be just happyness? Is it possible to Love and be consantly happy in this tough world?
Is it true that everyone has a soulmate and everyone has somebody out there?
What is happyness? And why are we sad sometimes?
Theres so many colours in the world. Its amazing. If there wouldnt be sadness then we probably wouldnt have so many so many beautiful songs and beautiful artwork or poems or stories.
all great stories, fairytales have something evil in them. There is adventure and brave people. People with values and sense of justice.
Do you beleive that there is always happy end? Like in fairytales.
Do we have to fight and be like a soldiers? Do have to stand up and fight for justice and help poor? Can we change the world?
There are almost 7 billion people in the world. Every one of then has different face and different mind and different character. So many emotions, thoughts, feelings. But they all want the same thing- just to be Happy. Simply Happy. They look for positive emotions, they try to scope with different things and they all try to survive.
But its not a fairytale where we are living. Its not always fair and its not always pleasant.
There are religions. Basically all the religins will teach you the same thing: Give the things to other people what you would like to get yourself. What you will give, that you will get.
Have you noticed sometimes that if you are around other people then you can see yourself from their behaviour. Because people unconsciously mirroring you. For example if you give them smile then they will mirror this back to you, if you give them sad looks, then they will mirror it for you and if you feel uncomfortable then they will feel the same.
There are questions that we never going to find an answer. Listen to your heart and smile. If you smile to the world then world will smile back to you and then sun is coming out behind the clouds and everything will be allright again.
If you know in your heart that you did the best you could and you didnt do anything bad and you didnt mean anything bad then this is what matters. And this what makes you happy.
All the best!
Is it true that everyone has a soulmate and everyone has somebody out there?
What is happyness? And why are we sad sometimes?
Theres so many colours in the world. Its amazing. If there wouldnt be sadness then we probably wouldnt have so many so many beautiful songs and beautiful artwork or poems or stories.
all great stories, fairytales have something evil in them. There is adventure and brave people. People with values and sense of justice.
Do you beleive that there is always happy end? Like in fairytales.
Do we have to fight and be like a soldiers? Do have to stand up and fight for justice and help poor? Can we change the world?
There are almost 7 billion people in the world. Every one of then has different face and different mind and different character. So many emotions, thoughts, feelings. But they all want the same thing- just to be Happy. Simply Happy. They look for positive emotions, they try to scope with different things and they all try to survive.
But its not a fairytale where we are living. Its not always fair and its not always pleasant.
There are religions. Basically all the religins will teach you the same thing: Give the things to other people what you would like to get yourself. What you will give, that you will get.
Have you noticed sometimes that if you are around other people then you can see yourself from their behaviour. Because people unconsciously mirroring you. For example if you give them smile then they will mirror this back to you, if you give them sad looks, then they will mirror it for you and if you feel uncomfortable then they will feel the same.
There are questions that we never going to find an answer. Listen to your heart and smile. If you smile to the world then world will smile back to you and then sun is coming out behind the clouds and everything will be allright again.
If you know in your heart that you did the best you could and you didnt do anything bad and you didnt mean anything bad then this is what matters. And this what makes you happy.
All the best!
Today
Today i have been feeling confused. i just booked my ticket to Estonia. I will spend a day in Stockholm, Sweden as well. But. I cant spend anything as im sooooo broken. he he. Economy Crisis definitly makes my wallet empty. or is it just because i have been spending too much money on the phone...? Anyway. Here comes my New Years promise that i wont spend so much next year and i will save. I hate all kind of tomorrow and new year kind of promises. Because tomorrow never comes like i say, so we need to start today. and make quick and spontanious decisions.
Like i said i have been conufused today. I couldnt sleep last night and when i woke up i was upset. But then i told to myself. Calm down girl! Just take your notebook, make couple of calculations and think what you want.
After couple of researches from internet, a stupid movie and lots of cigarettes, i made my desicion.
************************************************
One of my favourite writers is Gunnar Aarma, he was Estonian spiritual man and wrote esotherical books about religions and energies and positive thinking etc.
Today i remembered his thought: "Always finish your thoughts, if you leave your thoughts unfinished then its like collecting a rubbish into your mind"
I tried this and its really working. I dont always remember to do this, but if i do remember then it really helps me to organise my thoughts. This is why i write my blog by the way.
***********************************
So i will be in Estonia for next couple of.... i dont know... days? weeks? Gonna meet you all my good old friends!
Like i said i have been conufused today. I couldnt sleep last night and when i woke up i was upset. But then i told to myself. Calm down girl! Just take your notebook, make couple of calculations and think what you want.
After couple of researches from internet, a stupid movie and lots of cigarettes, i made my desicion.
************************************************
One of my favourite writers is Gunnar Aarma, he was Estonian spiritual man and wrote esotherical books about religions and energies and positive thinking etc.
Today i remembered his thought: "Always finish your thoughts, if you leave your thoughts unfinished then its like collecting a rubbish into your mind"
I tried this and its really working. I dont always remember to do this, but if i do remember then it really helps me to organise my thoughts. This is why i write my blog by the way.
***********************************
So i will be in Estonia for next couple of.... i dont know... days? weeks? Gonna meet you all my good old friends!
Friday 19 December 2008
i already had my first xmas this year :)
Tuesday 16 December 2008
Sunday 14 December 2008
Friday 12 December 2008
brown paper bag
''
Step to the rhythm made out of brown paper, sounds entering of a different nature,
Rhythms get greater, And the rhythms they get greater, Yes another rough-a-tough
Four for the chaser, New configuration, New riff and New Structure
Built on the frame that'll hold the room puncture, Tight
We wrap it up, it's wrapped, tightly.
''
Mmmmmmmmmmmm
''
It lives, The bass is the army that it gives.
When we apply the breaks, There'll be no skids.
Just more elements to continue as we glide.
Dimensions & The Measurements and the evidence you will find
Change it, rearrange it so its regularly updated
Hits from every angle so expected the un-expected
Represent the fusion of the mind and stay connected
The star that is presenting, The size of the markers been indented
''
Delivering the style we give you so that means a mention
In your direction is the baron that we aimed, ascension
Instead the way the floor the stunner made a we invention
And then you get your moneys worth before you've even sensed it
Make you think a four figure for the whole nation
Send it down so one we know it with no discrimination
Like a safe with 50 locks, as many combination
No matter which way that you turn you reach the same destination.
''
The fullness of the spectrum, 360 keep it circling
Deep inside the flow is where its working it
Under lease, submerging it, time to make it go deeper
Way past the point that blows holes in your speaker
Under and over, take it over and under
First you get the lightning and then you get the thunder
The sound is the music and the music is the feature
''
Mmmmmmmmmmmm
''
Step to the rhythm made out of brown paper, sounds entering of a different nature,
Rhythms get greater, And the rhythms they get greater, Yes another rough-a-tough
Four for the chaser, New configuration, New riff and New Structure
Built on the frame that'll hold the room puncture, Tight
We wrap it up, it's wrapped, tightly.
''
Mmmmmmmmmmmm
BANG BANG
i was watching alpha dog last night. commercial shit i thought. i took this movie because i wanted to see something where i do not have to think and wanted to see something that is just easy going and keeps my mind away from my thoghts. i watching and watching and thinking that oh i am sooo over from these gangsta blabla movies. ok, movie was going on and on and they were going to kill the boy in a movie and i thought no way they wont do this and it will have this nice american happy ending story and thats that. BUT. THEY KILLED THE BOY. and i found out this was a true story actually. however killers got punishments they deserved,but it is one of the sadest killing stories i know.
**********
theres another movie that made me emotionally crazy. blood diamond. i have seen it 3 times and every single time at the end of the movie i have been crying my eyes out.
world could be such a beautiful place to live but theres so many awful things going on. deep human feelings. betraying. suspicions . love. hate.
im thinking what the hell im doing here? why the hell im here? what is the point to be here? i need to know who i am.
are these kind of movies necessary? most people probably watch them and forget them after couple of hours. but should we really forget them? can these movies make world better place? these stupid american movies like alpha dog or blood diamond that are costing millions of dollars to make. money is such a powerful thing.
im really thinking whats going on. who am i? 23 year old girl working in office. doing more than im getting payd. i have a boyfriend whos not with me at the moment and we kind of love each other which is hard to beleive sometimes. then i have a father in ireland. rest of my family is in estonia- my brother whos not doing much, my mother whos allright at the moment, my grandmother whos too much worried about everything all the time. and then my friends who are kind of allright people actually. at least i have been lucky to meet some really good peoplein my life but the problem is im not seeing them much which is crap really.
so here i am again. trying to get somewhere and feeling like im getting somewhere but then BANG! VA VA VOOOOM! and thats it. Just stops. Just like that.
**********
theres another movie that made me emotionally crazy. blood diamond. i have seen it 3 times and every single time at the end of the movie i have been crying my eyes out.
world could be such a beautiful place to live but theres so many awful things going on. deep human feelings. betraying. suspicions . love. hate.
im thinking what the hell im doing here? why the hell im here? what is the point to be here? i need to know who i am.
are these kind of movies necessary? most people probably watch them and forget them after couple of hours. but should we really forget them? can these movies make world better place? these stupid american movies like alpha dog or blood diamond that are costing millions of dollars to make. money is such a powerful thing.
im really thinking whats going on. who am i? 23 year old girl working in office. doing more than im getting payd. i have a boyfriend whos not with me at the moment and we kind of love each other which is hard to beleive sometimes. then i have a father in ireland. rest of my family is in estonia- my brother whos not doing much, my mother whos allright at the moment, my grandmother whos too much worried about everything all the time. and then my friends who are kind of allright people actually. at least i have been lucky to meet some really good peoplein my life but the problem is im not seeing them much which is crap really.
so here i am again. trying to get somewhere and feeling like im getting somewhere but then BANG! VA VA VOOOOM! and thats it. Just stops. Just like that.
Thursday 11 December 2008
Smeagol vs Gollum
If you know even a little bit about LOTR then you should know that Smeagol and Gollum are the same. Its Gollum's scizophrenic conversation with himself. Argument between Bad Himself and Good Himself. Reminds me myself at the moment :D
Gollum: We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!
Smeagol: No. Not master!
Gollum: Yes, precious, false! They will cheat you, hurt you, LIE.
Smeagol: Master is our friend!
Gollum: You don't have any friends; nobody likes you!
Smeagol: I'm not listening... I'm not listening...
Gollum: You're a liar and a thief.
Smeagol: No!
Gollum: *Murderer*.
Smeagol: Go away!
Gollum: "Go away?" [Gollum laughs as Smeagol begins crying]
Smeagol: I hate you, I hate you.
Gollum: Where would you be without me, gollum, gollum? I saved us! It was me! We survived because of me!
Smeagol: [stops crying] Not anymore.
Gollum: What did you say?
Smeagol: Master looks after us now. We don't need you anymore.
Gollum: What?
Smeagol: Leave now, and never come back!
Gollum: No!
Smeagol: Leave now, and never come back! [Gollum screams in frustration]
Smeagol: LEAVE! NOW! AND NEVER COME BACK! [Gollum is silent]
Smeagol: [looks around] We told him to go away... and away he goes, Precious! Gone, gone, gone! Smeagol is free!
Gollum: We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!
Smeagol: No. Not master!
Gollum: Yes, precious, false! They will cheat you, hurt you, LIE.
Smeagol: Master is our friend!
Gollum: You don't have any friends; nobody likes you!
Smeagol: I'm not listening... I'm not listening...
Gollum: You're a liar and a thief.
Smeagol: No!
Gollum: *Murderer*.
Smeagol: Go away!
Gollum: "Go away?" [Gollum laughs as Smeagol begins crying]
Smeagol: I hate you, I hate you.
Gollum: Where would you be without me, gollum, gollum? I saved us! It was me! We survived because of me!
Smeagol: [stops crying] Not anymore.
Gollum: What did you say?
Smeagol: Master looks after us now. We don't need you anymore.
Gollum: What?
Smeagol: Leave now, and never come back!
Gollum: No!
Smeagol: Leave now, and never come back! [Gollum screams in frustration]
Smeagol: LEAVE! NOW! AND NEVER COME BACK! [Gollum is silent]
Smeagol: [looks around] We told him to go away... and away he goes, Precious! Gone, gone, gone! Smeagol is free!
constantly tired
Why am i so tired all the time...? Even if i have been sleeping well. It takes like 2 hours and 4 cups of coffees to wake up at work.
No, its not right and its not healthy. Jeeeesus i dont know if i need a vitamins or what?!
Seriously i think i need to change my life. If i quit this job i have now i promise im not gonna be so serious for a while. I will travel and see the world before :) Oh looking forward to it. Hopefully economy will go better too.
^^
by the way i will get internet tomorrow.
No, its not right and its not healthy. Jeeeesus i dont know if i need a vitamins or what?!
Seriously i think i need to change my life. If i quit this job i have now i promise im not gonna be so serious for a while. I will travel and see the world before :) Oh looking forward to it. Hopefully economy will go better too.
^^
by the way i will get internet tomorrow.
Tuesday 9 December 2008
Hi. Its Berit here. Emotional Breakdown. he he.
... i hate this all at the moment. I hate everything. Im disappointed. You can be so good and nice to someone but they still turn their back to you and not even bother to say anything anymore. Not even a word. What a behaviour. Most of all they hurt themselves and noone really cant take these people seriously anymore.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Fucking hate this all. I hate i had to go though this stupid road. Fucking hate. Hate. Hate.
...No. Im not gonna be cold bitch now. Not at all. If i dont have to hear anything about you anymore i will be fine. Seems like its never gonna work out.
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*
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...............im bloooody sad. Sad. Sad. Ahhh. Time will heal. Please dont contact. Please leave me alone. I have to get over. Its just sooo hard. Its so sad. Its so unreal. Why?Why?Why?
Not to think. Not to think. Not to think. Thats what im going to be. I wont think anymore.
Ahhhhh.. some release.
Had a busy day at work today. And very funny day. Im always finding these days funny when im overloaded with work. Its just a stupid reaction to start laughing in critical situations. Had to manage managers at work today. Heeee....! And i got the point how can you realise who is born to be manager and who is not. Im not a manager... yet. But today was wierd day where i had to manage managers. Its was a simple thing but it was brining out their character.
Sometimes if you give something to do for someone then some people are trying to understand for what and why they are doing this, but some people are just doing everything you told them to do. No questions. Like a monkeys.. or robots. So today i realised how hard is to manage managers. Heeeee...! But anyway. I enjoy being busy. Especially today. Especially for next.. hmm.. many many months.
And i promise. I wont write too much depressing emotions here anymore. Theres much more in my life than that.
LOVE YOU! PLEASE UNDERSTAND! LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU
Shit. Shit. Shit. Fucking hate this all. I hate i had to go though this stupid road. Fucking hate. Hate. Hate.
...No. Im not gonna be cold bitch now. Not at all. If i dont have to hear anything about you anymore i will be fine. Seems like its never gonna work out.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
...............im bloooody sad. Sad. Sad. Ahhh. Time will heal. Please dont contact. Please leave me alone. I have to get over. Its just sooo hard. Its so sad. Its so unreal. Why?Why?Why?
Not to think. Not to think. Not to think. Thats what im going to be. I wont think anymore.
Ahhhhh.. some release.
Had a busy day at work today. And very funny day. Im always finding these days funny when im overloaded with work. Its just a stupid reaction to start laughing in critical situations. Had to manage managers at work today. Heeee....! And i got the point how can you realise who is born to be manager and who is not. Im not a manager... yet. But today was wierd day where i had to manage managers. Its was a simple thing but it was brining out their character.
Sometimes if you give something to do for someone then some people are trying to understand for what and why they are doing this, but some people are just doing everything you told them to do. No questions. Like a monkeys.. or robots. So today i realised how hard is to manage managers. Heeeee...! But anyway. I enjoy being busy. Especially today. Especially for next.. hmm.. many many months.
And i promise. I wont write too much depressing emotions here anymore. Theres much more in my life than that.
LOVE YOU! PLEASE UNDERSTAND! LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU
Monday 8 December 2008
Grr..
.. i hate when i cant write into my blog. So busy. And no internet at home. grr. I need this blog.
^^
^^
Wednesday 3 December 2008
Theres no end and no beginning in the circle
After i went home from work yesterday i was so tired that i just had couple of pices of chinese bread and a cigratte and lied down to bed. I wasnt really sleeping but i was kind of drifting beetween conscious and unconscious... this is the wierdest you can get. So my mind was free and fully up and running if i can say so. My mind was leading my thoughts to the beginning of everything. Yup sometimes im getting these days when im thing like this he he. So beginning of everything. My mind had a question "When people started hurt each other?" Who was the first person to hurt other person. And how this happened. Im guessing that this is human nature. But still i was imagnining the situation how somebody first hurt other person. I was imagining the times when people werent fully developed yet. I was even thininking about monkeys nowadays. Have you seen them hurt each other? Im not sure. But people's (Homo Sapiens) mind has emotions and higher needs than just eating and seleeping and having sex. They need attention, they need love and care, need to improve themselves. We all need this. But why do we hurt each other? Is it because we need always get something we want? I dont beleive that people are bad. I beleive theres something good in everyone. People just express themselves differently and sometimes just doesnt know how to deal with things. I am not going to speak about murderers and rapers here at the moment. This is another topic and i dont want to fell out from my current point.
Anyway. Why do we hurt each other? Even if we say we love. I guess love is something very few people have experienced because noone ever cant hurt the person he/she loves. Love is magical feeling and higher energy.
But still. People hurt eachother all the time. How this all started? I was imagining animal world. Do they hurt each other? Ofcourse they do! This is part of surviving. They have to do this.
So now im thinking i guess people have to do the same thing. Maybe they need to survive. Its hard to be a Homo Sapiens as we are created to be intelligent. And this is destroying us.
Look at the world. We have developed medicine (not as developed as old Egyptians had but still..) and we can save eacothers lifes (which animals cant do) but on the other hand we are destroying orselves. Tons of rubbish, tons of waste for example...
At the end of the day we are still in ancient process. And this is natural choice. Its simple- only strong will survive.
I could talk about disabled people here and wars and killing prisoners and abortions. There are so many different views about this. But like i already said at the end of the day we will always be part of natural choices and we keep hurting each other and we keep destroying ourselves. We dont know why it is necessary but nothing happens without reason. Everything is put in a place in a System. I cant see Human beings go so intelligent that they can fight with this- we all die one day and then born again. And thats how life is circulating. There is endless circles in life- theres no beginning for this and theres no end for this. Human brain cant understand this system.
Well i hope this makes sense what im trying to say here. He he my head is full of thoughts that i just have to orginise myself more and more so hopefully i can start giving better reviews soon.
I have no internet now at home so im kind of away from at the mo. Hope to get it installed soon.
Anyway. Why do we hurt each other? Even if we say we love. I guess love is something very few people have experienced because noone ever cant hurt the person he/she loves. Love is magical feeling and higher energy.
But still. People hurt eachother all the time. How this all started? I was imagining animal world. Do they hurt each other? Ofcourse they do! This is part of surviving. They have to do this.
So now im thinking i guess people have to do the same thing. Maybe they need to survive. Its hard to be a Homo Sapiens as we are created to be intelligent. And this is destroying us.
Look at the world. We have developed medicine (not as developed as old Egyptians had but still..) and we can save eacothers lifes (which animals cant do) but on the other hand we are destroying orselves. Tons of rubbish, tons of waste for example...
At the end of the day we are still in ancient process. And this is natural choice. Its simple- only strong will survive.
I could talk about disabled people here and wars and killing prisoners and abortions. There are so many different views about this. But like i already said at the end of the day we will always be part of natural choices and we keep hurting each other and we keep destroying ourselves. We dont know why it is necessary but nothing happens without reason. Everything is put in a place in a System. I cant see Human beings go so intelligent that they can fight with this- we all die one day and then born again. And thats how life is circulating. There is endless circles in life- theres no beginning for this and theres no end for this. Human brain cant understand this system.
Well i hope this makes sense what im trying to say here. He he my head is full of thoughts that i just have to orginise myself more and more so hopefully i can start giving better reviews soon.
I have no internet now at home so im kind of away from at the mo. Hope to get it installed soon.
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