Tuesday 28 April 2009

how do we really feel...?

Life is just going on and on even when the world is changing so much... and sometimes you feel like a little ant in a big world and you cant do nothing about it... most of us we are just a group of ants in a small world, unable to see and feel more than necessary for us. World is changing, sometimes it is diffucult and sometimes it is a big challenge while always keeping its beauty...

How do you really feel when you look at the newspaper or open a TV for news and all you can see and all you can hear is swine flu that is soon to be come an epidemic....? How do you really feel about living in times when the world is changing and you can actually sense this?
Do you feel like this is something nothing for you? Or do you feel like you should look after your loved ones even more? Or do you feel like going out there and help and do as much as you can?

Today i feel useless. But not depressed. If i would feel depressed then i already had given up. And thats the last thing we should feel...

Monday 27 April 2009

there is something about Ireland...








If you know the basics then you think you know everything but if you already know more than basics then you realize that actually you know nothing! Yes, im talking about Photography... Its amazing how much there can be done before you can actually click the button! And there is so much that can be done after the button click as well!

Tuesday 21 April 2009

Thursday 16 April 2009

Faces of Bologna Part 1






The more im taking photos of people the more i start loving them. Especially when i take their photo while they don't know im taking it... If i look at their expression later on the photo its so natural and so honest, i start feeling so much more closer to them. Sometimes i feel like this is something i need to do- capture people, emotions, faces, nations, moods... I love people: all of them have their feelings, wishes and hope...
I was in Bologna, Italy for the weekend. I was going around my camer two days and capturing people and their emotions, this was my first time doing something like that... im happy with the results (not too happy though as i know i am capable doing better, and i will).


...more to follow

Wednesday 15 April 2009

life is a lesson

i remember when you left... you told me that we will hear about you one day and you will be important. you told me about things that doesnt matter in life, small unimportant things... Now i know how you feel. Now i feel the same. First time in my life i know insactly what i want to do and where i want to go and who i want to be.
For so long time i have been feeling that im longing for SOMETHING... so long time i have been thinking why do i feel this way... but now. Now i feel an urge. Urge to do and and to be what i want. I feel like noone cant take this away from me anymore, noone cant tell me what to do and how to be. I feel stronger than i ever felt in my life!
Life is a lesson and you can only learn from that.... Even if it doesnt go well, we can take it as if its another lesson to be learned (or earned...?) and its another challange to make you stronger...

PS. Bologna pictures will follow...

Thursday 9 April 2009

im off...

... to Bologna, Italy until Monday =)

Tuesday 7 April 2009

where are they all rushing?


Is it really so busy that we seem to be just like a passing shadows? is it really so busy that we always have to answer to "How are you"-question quickly that we are fine even though we are not so fine... Is it really so busy that there are no time to see and notice? Time to see and notice the people and the beauty....

Monday 6 April 2009

The Church


Always when i visit the church i can feel the power and the energy in the room. Its a God's house and you can feel that these rooms are more special and peaceful than other rooms. It's good to know that there are still these kind of places left in the world.

Sunday 5 April 2009

burning...

the world keeps burning and burning and people not realizing it...
CLICK ON THE PIC TO ENLARGE AND CTRL plus - IF IT DOESN'T FIT TO YOUR SCREEN

Friday 3 April 2009

24 random questions to myself


1. Something you really care about?
Family. This is something that never fails you and this is something that you never lose whatever you do, think or say. Family is group of people i can really trust.

2. Do you dream?
Oh yes. I dream about simple things like things to myself- things that can be realistic one day. Sometimes i like to dream about sci-fi topics asking the question What If...?

3. What are your goals in life?
Hahah. I almost deleted that question. But i'll leave it in as it is something i need to think about. Its definitely not money and work.

4. How would you describe yourself?
Probably i see myself very differently from others. Because i dont really show real me to everyone. Im thinker, i like challenges, i like jokes and good food. I like discussions and interesting people. I cant stand to be in one place for long periods as im very impatient- i have to be on move all the time and i need changes. I need different people around me and i need something to happen all the time. I like being busy and i like when i can feel important. Sometimes i can be shy and sometimes im very funny. I am a person who can come out from every situation. I hate about myself that im so closed and i dont know how to talk about my personal life/ feelings.

5. Your childhood?
To think back to my childhood.... hmm it feels good. Our family never had much money, sometimes we were struggiling. Actually we were struggling even more than i know because i know my mother did everything she could to keep us as good as possible. Very important person in my life is my grandmother- she has been like a second mother to me. Thinking back to my childhood times- it was quite magical, especially Estonian magical summers and the way we used to sleep in tents with friends all summers and then sneak out at night time... Oh and the way my mother every summer was growing carrots, beets, leeks all that green stuff in our own garden! I had my own little carrot and raddish field as well- oh and these fresh summer salads we did with my mother with hot potatoes. My grandmother has a beautiful house in Viljandi and my grandfather has beautiful house in Koksvere and my aunt has a beautiful farm.

6. 3 places you would like to go on a vacation?
hehehhe! Theres definetly more than 3! Theres probably 300 places where i want to go! But i will answer for this question that i want to go Home, then to go and see my friend in Bahrain and 3rd place would be.... hmm.... its hard to bring out something specific as there are so many beautiful and interesting places in the world. So i'll leave it blank.

7. Describe any accident you have seen or heard about?
I saw a murdered man back in my hometown when i was about 10 years old. It was summer and mid-day. It happened in a food store. A mentally ill man stabbed a random person (or ot so random i think) guy. It was blood all over the street and i saw dead body lying down on the ground still holding a 2 EEK note on his hands.... (that doesnt mean that i grew up in a horrible and dangerous place ofcourse)

8. What scares you the most and why?
Im not afraid of death as it is natural but im afraid of violence and losing the freedom as this is something that can damage you to the end of your mind and leave mental scarves that are the most difficult to repair.

9. What do you do in your free time?
Good question. I feel like i dont have enough free time as there is so many things i would like to do more than im doing now. At the moment my free time is for photography, Photoshop, photography sites in internet, blogging, reading books, watching South Park and movies, being with friends, walking (this includes photographing obvously as well), travelling (in Ireland and in Europe) and Camera Club. Also just talking to my brother and father about life and philosophy. Me and my brother absolutely wreck my faters head though!

10. Name 3 things in nature you find most beautiful?
Sea, early early mornings and Estonian summer woods- im sure there are very beautiful things in the world but i havent seen much yet... Universe must be breath taking.

11. Which is your favorite part of the human face and why? This answer should be eyes as they are telling a lot and they are mirror of the soul but actually its a stupid question.

12. When was the last time you lied and to whom and why?
Probably it was a small lie to my boss, something like if she asks did i finish something then i say yes but actually i had forgetten this thing and then quickly starting to do this... heheeee!

13. Tell me about something you really regret?
I regret the time i was wasting in a ceratin period of my life, i regret that i never had an opportunity to study a proper dancing and i regret that i give up athletics in high school (my teacher kept saying how talented i am) and i regret that i have no singing voice

14. Tell me about your favorite book, magazine or comic?
BOOK- i love Lord of the Rings, MAGAZINE- Practical Photography, COMIC- Donald Duck- he is the funniest comic character i ever seen- just brilliant!

15. Tell me about someone you really admire?
Its a character from a book, documentary book. Its a lady called Phoolan Devi from India. Her life and her character is something i admire- so fearless, fighting for better future, never give up her beliefes. She become a leader of Indian gang, she was called Bandit Queen. Later she became politician, part of the parliament. The book i recommend to read is I, Phoolan Devi: The Autobiography of India's Bandit Queen by Phoolan Devi, Marie-Thérèse Cuny, Paul Rambali. Published by Little, Brown and Co., 1996

16. Tell me about your favorite music / song / band?
oooohh music! I have to do separate topic about it. I love music! I like so many different music!

17. Tell me about something you would happily do again?
Go to swimming and live two weeks in a beach house and no people around, only me and.... somebody...

18. Something or someone you miss the most from childhood?
Magical summers with a crazy people and carefree life.

19. Are you usually late, early or right on time?
As much as i dont like it i have to say that im always late.

20. Are you happy with your life for the most part right now?
Could be better

21. You can have one of the following two things: trust/love?
I will pick trust as there will be no love without it

22. When and how was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt?
This is actually long time ago. Yesterday i was crying alone in my room, i dont know but if im sad i dont know how to talk about this. I can write about this here in my blog, but i dont know how to talk...

23. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heart break or have never loved before?
Heart breaks and big feeling are inspiring and they make you alive, i know that already.

24. If you could do anything OR wish for anything that would come true, what would you wish?
Can we all live our life in Peace? Or would it be too boring? Would that mean that there wouldnt be no good books written anymore or no good movies made or no beautiful songs/art poetry done? ... so i cant wish the world peace. What could i wish to make a world better place. Would it help if i would wish that i could know The Answer. Or should i wish to be wealthy myself? no, thats too selfish...! How could i even pick one charity to other- theres so many people who need help. Probaly the best thing to wish would be the wish that would save our Planet Earth from rubbish, overwarming and toxic gases.... Yea i think thats the wish!

Wednesday 1 April 2009

shooting in the church's graveyard







my first time to shoot something creepy... mwhawhamwha ...