Broken...

I have so many feelings hidden in my soul, i feel like i have lost the way how to express this. I wish i could know how to understand things and i wish i could analyze more. I have been researching some stuff about relationships from internet and looking for answers and looking for help.
Yes, my heart is broken. Yes, i am sad and yes, i feel like i want to cry. Im trying to let these bad feelings out and cry out all disappointment and pain. No, im not physically crying but my heart is heavy and my feelings are going up and down. Im not trying to control this anymore.

Im in Estonia. All my friends are here. I am dragging myself to go out and im dragging myself to do something. Soon i will be back at work in routine.
Im sick bird now and i have lost again. Now its time to move on and the best i can do is learn from my mistakes and forgive.
Yes, i am frogiving and i am letting the pain out. I am thinking about You every minute and missing You.
Sometimes i dont even want to get out from the bed in the mornings.
Sooo fucking hard.

Its my personal life. These are feelings im feeling and these are the thoughts im thinking.

I learnt a lot. I take all this on board and trying to get my heart back to one piece again.